In honor of Pride Month, we sat down with Melissa Scobey, the Foster Care Supervisor in the Permanency Department at Family Services. Here is what she had to say:
Full Name: Melissa Scobey
Have you lived anywhere other than Erie? I grew up in Cranesville, Pennsylvania, a very small rural area outside of Albion. Cranesville is a very nice town; however, it is also very limited regarding diversity and inclusivity - especially at age 25, which is when I first came out as being gay. I have lived in Erie since then.
Where did you go to college and what degree(s) did you earn? I have a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology from Penn State Behrend.
What inspired you to pursue your line of work? I originally wanted to go to school and entered Behrend as Pre-Med. I had a Psychology class, and this changed my entire trajectory and career.
Do you have any special interests in your field? I have a soft spot for the elderly community as well as children. I worked with the elderly for 14 years prior to coming to Family Services and loved this population. It was very interesting to see this come full circle with working with children now. I also worked in the mental health field with Crisis Services and loved this type of work.
Tell us about your family. I have been with my wife, Nancy, for 18 years and we have been married for 4 years. Nancy is a social worker in a nursing home. We have 5 adorable and fabulous cats plus one rescue/foster cat. They all have fun and unique names: Macaroni & Cheese, Fergie, Spencer, Felix, and Buggaboo (Bugsy). Callie is our foster/rescue cat. She was dumped pregnant, and I trapped her in my backyard. She is so sweet and loving. We worked with a local agency to get her kittens adopted. I adore my cats and they provide hours of entertainment.
Talk about your experience of inclusivity. This is always an interesting story. I have always stated that I really didn't have many issues with inclusivity. I have certainly not experienced the hate that others have. I have never been spat at, called names, or experienced hate to my face, etc.
In reality, over the last few years, I have never placed myself in places for this to occur. I realized that for the first 12 years, I only allowed my closest friends to know that I am gay. This wasn't something that I "advertised" or made people aware of. I feel often times that some people knew, and others had no clue. In my career, I have worked in nursing homes as well as social service agencies and I have never felt fully accepted. I used to keep my work and personal life very separate. This has since changed as the world and inclusivity has changed. Twenty years ago, I would have never imagined that marriage for "people like me" would be an option. The more acceptance there is, the more people like me feel comfortable.
What is your perspective as an LGBTQ professional? I think as a society we have come a long way towards acceptance, but there remains work to be done. There are so many times people have seen a wedding ring and asked about my husband. I have had telemarketers or insurance adjusters say the same thing. I hope someday we have a society that just doesn't ask or instead asks if I have a partner.
What do you like best about working at FSNWPA? I like that we work hard towards inclusion. I believe everyone knows that I am gay (and if they don't, they do now). I have always felt confident and comfortable sharing my identity and who I am. I also love working in foster care and with foster children. This is my passion as well as growing the foster care program. We are an inclusive foster care agency which makes me very proud. I feel accepted by the administration team as well.
What do you like to do outside of work? I love to garden. I have a small vegetable garden that I love to watch grow. I like to do home improvements or create things. I also crochet, do diamond art, and spend time with my cats. My favorite thing to do is travel. I love seeing the United States and world. I enjoy seeing and experiencing new things.
Who are your role models? I really don't feel like I have had any role models. I have some influential people throughout my life who have shaped my attitude and assisted in my successes. I would say my parents are both very hardworking and have good morals. My wife is an amazing and knowledgeable social worker. In high school, college, and in my first career there were older LGBTQ women who were certainly mentors and people that I respected.
What are your major achievements? Growing a successful foster care program; being in a healthy, loving, and stable relationship; owning our house; crocheting, which my grandmother taught me. I would also say that I now prioritize self-care in my life. I also am very proud of the training opportunities that we offer our foster and kinship families.
What is one of your favorite quotes? "Be careful not to dehumanize people you disagree with. In our self-righteousness, we can easily become the very things we dislike in others." - Author Unknown
At Family Services of NW PA, we are proud to celebrate love, equality, and acceptance. Thanks to Melissa for sharing her story and being a part of the team.
Melissa is pictured above (right) with her wife, Nancy.
